It's relevant to the post, I swear! And why's she wearing mittens?
Puff Daddy: Gov. Mike Beebe says he wants to raises cigarette taxes to $10 trillion per pack to fund a trauma center and to end all state budget shortfalls forever and ever. Now if we can just sell ONE pack. (Arkansas News Bureau)
Pantywaist: A Lonoke man arrested for stealing panties is found with exactly 188 pairs of women’s and children’s panties in his home. Judge declares he must stay 500 yards from Victoria’s Secret at all times. (KTHV)
Sub Mission: Formerly hefty Subway pitchman Jared Fogle touched down in Fayetteville to propagandize schoolchildren into eating healthy, so long as they do it at Subway. How will we stop the pernicious industry influence of Big Sandwich reaching into our schools? (Morning News of Northwest Arkansas)
Not So Sexy: Not enough translators for non-English speakers in sex offender program, and some offenders may have to be dropped from program. When he learned of this fact, former Democratic Rep. Dwayne Dobbins responded, “De veras? Lo siento, senor, pero no hablo ingles!” (KATV)
Comments